Unown Adventure
by Vawns Maxwell
Summary: there is swearing and this is the story that comes after cat town


*A/N Hi again. I enjoyed my last Pokémon story so I am doing another one. Hope you like it and I still don't own the license to Pokémon but I am working on that. Read Cat-Town to get a feel for the characters. I don't want to go much into descriptions again but I don't remember describing Kira that Catgirl so I will do that now. Also since I don't remember the screen name of the girl that this person was based on I am gonna use the description of Liah the ctgirl who is my original creation so I can take claim to her!*  
  
Liah brushed her long brown hair back and kept walking with Ash, Misty and Brock: where did Chris go?  
  
Narrator: Today we find our adventurers going to the Azalea gym in Azalea citty  
  
Author: jeezus where the hell else would the frickin Azalea gym be?  
  
Narrator: usually you would have gone into one of your swearing fitts over something like that  
  
Author: shut the hell up! It is too early in the frickin story to start a swearing fit!  
  
Narrator: anyway as I was saying there were three ways of getting to the Azalea gym. One way would bring them through Goldenrod city where they could go after the Goldenrod gym but they don't think that way. Another way is a lot quicker and brings them through a cave then into Azalea town or city or whatever the hell it is. And the third way has them go through the mysterious ruins of Alph putting all of them in danger and adding an extra day on the trip and they still have to go through the cave. Any guesses on which one they chose?  
  
Author: Oh My God these people are so stupid…Why the hell would they do that?  
  
Narrator: it is all for the kids  
  
Chris jumps down from a tree: so how are we gonna make it to Azalea town or city or whatever the hell it is?  
  
Ash: well there are three ways we can get there. One way would bring us through Goldenrod city where we could go after the Goldenrod gym but we don't think that way. Another way is a lot quicker and brings us through a cave then into Azalea town or city or whatever the hell it is. And the third way has us go through the mysterious ruins of Alph putting all of us in danger and adding an extra day on the trip and we still have to go through the cave. We chose the last one.  
  
Chris: Oh my god you people are so stupid…  
  
Author: I am glad I am not the only one with a voice of reason…  
  
Chris: lets go  
  
Author: jeezus frickin crist! I don't know why I write this stuff…  
  
Narrator: It is okay Author…  
  
Author: you had better not go gay on me or I will so kick your ass  
  
Narrator backs away and gives up the idea of a hug  
  
Chris, Author, Misty, and Kira all pull out rubber mallets and hit the Narrator.  
  
Chris and Author: sicko!  
  
Misty and Kira: trying to steal our guys?  
  
Chris played with a peace of poke-gear and got a radio station and started listening to "in the summer time": music is mighty…  
  
Author: ahhh realaxing  
  
Narrator: you know you are spelling a lot of stuff wrong right?  
  
Author: do you want me to kick the shit out of you? You stopped on the drugs and are really doing good at that but I wonder if I could get you back on those…  
  
Narrator: nooooooo please no more I don't want to be addicted.  
  
Author: those are the self help lessons talking not the real you  
  
Misty: ahem can we get back to the story?  
  
Author: …miserable little redhead…  
  
Brock: so now we are about to get to ruins of Alph where there is a pokemon called unown  
  
Author: the stupid little black things that look like letters of the alphabit  
  
Narrator: you spelled-  
  
Author: shut the fuck up!  
  
Everyone walks into the ruins of Alph and then falls through a trap door into a temple  
  
Chris: hahahahaha that was so fun lets do it again  
  
Kira: ow….  
  
Misty: you are insane  
  
Chris: so? Ash is inasne you never give him a hard time about it…  
  
Ash: hey  
  
Brock: no Ash is just stupid  
  
Kira, Misty, and Chris all give a murmur of agreement  
  
Ash: you have all turned on me  
  
Misty: how could we turn on you if we never were on your side in that opinion Ash?  
  
Brock: she has a point.  
  
Chris: yes she does…and is anyone else noticing the weird writing on the walls?  
  
Kira: lets see if I can read it…  
  
Chris: hmmmmm…very strange  
  
Ash: "beware the unown…" very strange…  
  
Chris: how the hell can you read this?  
  
Ash: it is just stupid letters, I'm not illiterate you know  
  
Misty: but it doesn't look like letters  
  
Narrator: after a long discussion about the letters and these shapes on the wall it was all cleared up and they all felt stupid for not figuring it out before Ash who is the stupidest person in the entire show…  
  
Ash: so what is the unown?  
  
Brock: if you had been listening earlier you would have heard me say they are a type of pokemon  
  
Ash: oh yah right  
  
Chris: I don't feel so stupid any more  
  
Kira: neither do I  
  
Misty: he is like this every day  
  
Kira: we are with you every day…we kind of noticed  
  
Chris: now I really don't feel stupid any more  
  
Misty: shut up!  
  
Brock: so how are we gonna get out of here?  
  
Author: Narrator you say nothing about the ladder in the middle of the temple or I will beat you.  
  
Narrator: I'm not into that kind of stuff…I'm not really gay  
  
Author: I didn't mean that kind of beating…you know what I am just gonna kick your ass for that  
  
Chris: I think there is a ladder in the middle of the temple  
  
Ash: how would you know that?  
  
Chris: game manual  
  
Narrator: just put the sword down…  
  
Author: heh…heh…heh  
  
Narrator: theyallescapedandmadeittowhateverthehellthatcityortownwas  
  
Author: YOU BASTARD!!! I CAN READ SQWUISHED UP TEXT!!!  
  
Ash: wow how did we get to Azalea Town so fast?  
  
Chris: how do you know it is a town?  
  
Ash: it says on the sign  
  
Kira: give us a break we had to run all the way here…not like you and your bike you little-  
  
Chris: Kira calm! Calm!!!  
  
Kira: but he is a little-  
  
Chris: no Kira! This is a kid's show. The author and the Narrator only say that off air  
  
Narrator: we call Ash a little shit off air?  
  
Author: I was thinking little fuck, but this is off air?  
  
Narrator: heh heh  
  
Ash: I thought you guys were my friends and you guys call me names behind my back  
  
Narrator: so does everyone else  
  
Chris talking to Kira: I know he is a little shit but you don't have to say it  
  
Kira talking to Chris: I was gonna call him a little fuck  
  
Narrator: so you are surrounded by it  
  
Ash: this is the kind of stuff that makes people commit suicide…  
  
Narrator: well I don't remember who the Azalea gym leader is or if there really is an Azalea gym but I knew you would have to go through ruins of Alph to get there so I felt like starting it that way.  
  
Misty: ha ha Ash!  
  
Brock: now that was just uncalled for. We were stuck in that stupid temple and he was the only one who didn't have to run all the way here…I say we beat the shit out of him  
  
Ash: no you aren't supposed to say that on a kid's show.  
  
Misty pulls out her rubber Mallet and hits Ash: you aren't supposed to kiss people either but that happened at the end of the last one and no one complained.  
  
Ash: who all kissed in that scene again?  
  
Brock: I remember! Kira kissed Chris, Misty kissed you and I didn't kiss anyone  
  
Ash: patooie  
  
Da Doo Da Doo  
  
Jessie: To protect the world from devistation  
  
James: To unite all peoples within our nation  
  
Jessie: To denounce the evils of piece and love  
  
Ash: …yah, yah, to extend our reach to the stars above, Jessie, James, teem rocket blast off at the speed of light surrender now or prepare to fight, Meowth that's right, I remember this. I am sorry to take your line James cause the Author really thinks you are cool but we gotta do this fast.  
  
Jessie: well he knows all of out Motto  
  
James: we have a fan!!!  
  
Meowth: or he has heard the motto so many times that he knows it from start to finish and can probably say the damn thins backwards.  
  
Jessie: I can't even do that  
  
James: I can  
  
Author: and then James did that and since I can barely remember the whole thing I am just gonna skip it.  
  
James: see? I am so great at that!  
  
Jessie: wow that was amazing  
  
Meowth: We came to steal Pikachu not see who can say the motto backwards!  
  
Jessie and James: Right!  
  
Chris: why the hell do you want Pikachu? It is a lame little Rat Pokémon! Here have mine!  
  
James caught the pokeball: thanks  
  
Jessie: why does he get it?  
  
Chris: cause I think he is cool  
  
Kira: sounds about right  
  
Chris: he reminds me of me all loner and stuff  
  
Jessie: but what will we do now?  
  
Meowth: why the hell does it matter? We might get our own show for this!  
  
Jessie and James: yay  
  
James: but I like these twirps…  
  
Jessie: of course, They like you!  
  
Meowth: but what is team rocket without James?  
  
Jessie: a lot quieter?  
  
Meowth: yah but we wouldn't be able to do the motto  
  
Jessie: you could take James's place  
  
James: replaced by Meowth…  
  
Ash: I don't think they meant it and even when they bring it back to Giovanie they will just become normal old members of team rocket that no one knows about like Butch and Cassidy.  
  
Chris, and Kira: who are they?  
  
Brock: I'm not sure if I was there for that but I remember reading the script and they pulled a trick with a breeding center.  
  
Chris and Kira: we gotta get subscribed to this thing  
  
James: c'mon Jessie just give back the Pikachu, I know you have a thing for me.  
  
Jessie: how can you tell?  
  
James: I remember a few of those nights in the ballon  
  
Ash: Oh my god my mind is soiled forever.  
  
Jessie: oh get your head out of the gutter. I talk in my sleep and he records it to torment me.  
  
James plays the tape: "Oh James I love you oh god yes!!!"  
  
Ash: Oh my god my mind is soiled forever.  
  
Misty: likewise  
  
Brock: misty you talk in your sleep too  
  
Ash: shut up!!! Shut up!!!  
  
Brock: it is true  
  
Chris: Kira do I talk in my sleep?  
  
Kira: no…  
  
Chris: oh…  
  
Chris kisses Kira deeply and passionately  
  
James kisses Jessie deeply and passionately  
  
Ash runs away so Misty can't kiss him deeply and passionately  
  
Narrator: and they all live happily ever after?  
  
Author: you go to story time at the Library every other Tuesday don't you? 


End file.
